Skip to main content

Changing My Narrative

Today is back to school day in our community and for both of my daughters.  This one is particularly hard because of my professional circumstances.  I would love to be back to school today too, welcoming kids and fellow colleagues, but it isn't my fate this year.  Over the past years, I have made certain choices in the name of wellness, and all of those decisions bring me to where I am today.  Don't get me wrong - I have grown so much in so many aspects of my life due to the decisions I have made in my professional life.  I am grateful for every step of it, but I won't lie and say that I don't wish I was in a school today.

I constantly tell myself that if I have this blog about wellness, and I don't walk the walk, I am a fraud and full of $hit.  That is why I am vowing to add another piece to my wellness journey.  Since I don't find myself in a classroom this year, or in a school, I have to view this as a positive and a space in my life to work on myself.  For many years I have put my own health and physical wellbeing aside.  Yes, I have definitely worked on my mental wellbeing, and find myself in a really great place, but it is time to use the time I have to improve my health.

All of my adult life, and most of my teen years I have struggled with body image and weight.  In my teen years, I always felt like the "chubby" friend, but when I look back on pictures - that was not me at all! 
I keep telling my daughter who is in grade 8 to be appreciative for her health and athletic body because I didn't acknowledge or appreciate it when I had it, and now I struggle.  As an adult, I have always felt like there is a different version of me inside myself.  I have done several races, obstacle and running, over the years to prove to myself I can do it, but have never been completely happy with the person who is running them.
Many friends have commented on how I carry myself with such confidence, and I appear to them to be one of the most self-assured people they know, but let me tell you - I am so INSECURE INSIDE.  I am trying to change my inner narrative, believe me.  I know that as a mother of two girls, I need to work on this so they don't develop the same mindset I had/have, and so they can see themselves the way others do - as beautiful.  My husband has told me so often, "I wish you could see yourself the way I do." 

It is time - November 17th I am running my second half-marathon ever - and I plan to work on myself and change my body and my inner narrative about my body image and weight.  I am putting this onto my blog because I need to be accountable, not because I want kudos and accolades for being honest and forthright about my struggle.
It is time to be well, and it is time to work hard.  This is one thing I am changing for the beginning of the school year.  Have you thought about what you can change?  It doesn't have to be huge.  Start working on something today that you have always said, "one day" about doing.  I will track my progress and thoughts on this blog.  Good luck and #BeWellEDU.


Popular posts from this blog

How I Not Only Survived, but Thrived During My First Semester Teaching High School!

As a new teacher, I have been sharing my learning journey from the Faculty to the Field since early 2016. I have contributed in many ways; whether it was through a series of blog posts on my website, podcast episodes with Que sera Sarah, Twitter chats, EdTechTeam Summits or even live radio shows such as #onEdMentors. I have continuously taken the risk in opening up my journey for people to read/listen and hopefully be inspired. This openness has allowed me to reflect, share my highs and lows, receive constructive feedback, have a dialogue with other educators as well as contribute to the world of teacher candidates and new teachers in an online space and beyond. 
As a recent graduate of the University of Ottawa, I am very fortunate to have gotten hired in June of 2018 for a full time teaching position with the school board of my dreams! I am now working in a small rural school, only a short distance away from my house, teaching grade 9 and 10. I must admit that my previously mentione…

Unlocking Teacher Wellness Through Awareness, Agency and Connection

I have to be honest, the thoughts of wellness at work haven’t always been at the forefront of my mind.  
I actually remember being a young teacher who took tremendous pride in arriving at work so early that
I needed to disarm the alarm and leaving only when the night caretakers were finishing their duties.  I
remember looking back at it and thinking of this work ethic as (a) a necessity (b) an acceptable level of
dedication (c) a badge of honour. I suppose in some respects, I was right on both fronts. I needed to work
the long hours to hone my craft and be best prepared for my students and I am certain my colleagues and
principals took note of my endless burning of the midnight oils.  However, as ‘right’ as I was, I had obviously
overlooked a concerning blindspot, emotional wellness.
Things started to change for me when I stepped into a school leadership role.  All of a sudden, I was faced
with difficult professional conversations on topics revolving around ‘workload,’ ‘stress’ and ‘w…

We Need to Talk

I had quite a serious talk with my daughter this weekend about mental health.  The topic of suicide was broached, and she was curious.  Reflecting on it now, I am so happy that I was able to have such an open conversation with my thirteen year old.  Mental health is a topic that we don't talk enough about - and when I say "we", I mean society.

Unfortunately, I have known people who decided to end their life in this tragic way because they were struggling so hard with their mental health, that it seemed like the only way out.  We, who are left here on this earth  are left with an abundance of questions when we try to make sense of it all.  Questions and "if only" statements - and I am pondering whether the biggest "if only" is something that we can change, and hopefully save lives by doing so.

"If only we talked about it."

So often when we hear about someone being depressed, or that they took their own life because of depression, and our react…